What Romance means to me (Insatiable Reads Blog Hop)

Hello! This might be your first time to my website, and if so, I just wanted to say thanks for stopping by. I know you’re probably here for a chance to win some prizes, so I’ll put that info right at the top after this introduction. I hope you’ll consider checking out the rest of the post and some of my books, too, though.


Blog Hop Grand Prizes (2):
A Kindle Fire
A $50 Amazon.com Gift Certificate

My Blog’s Prize (1):
A $10 Gift Certificate to either Amazon, B&N, iTunes, or All Romance eBooks (Your choice).

To enter to win a prize, all you have to do is leave a comment on this post. The more participating blogs that you leave comments at, the more chances you have to win (and each blog has their own special prizes, too, so that’s ~150+ chances to win something!). The giveaway will end on 7/21 at 11:59pm EST. For more info, check out http://www.insatiablereads.com/

Not sure what other blogs are participating? Go here:

Isn’t that blue monster guy face cute? I think he’s cute. He looks so happy.

Now that that’s all set and I think you have a good idea of what to do to enter, let’s get on to the post!

I’m going to go at this kind of like one of those school assignments. You know the ones, right? What does mean to you? Well, seeing as a write erotic romance and erotica with some romantic themes, I thought it’d be fun to do that.

Romance is a really interesting genre, because it can include so many different ideas and concepts. Even erotica is similar, where it’s a general theme, with so many various sub-genres that it’s a little scary sometimes. How do you know what you’re getting or what to look for? It’s hard! (Sometimes literally. Those heroic men, oh my. *fans self*)

One thing you should find in most romances is a happy ending. I know some people might disagree and think that you don’t necessarily need one, but I think you definitely do. It doesn’t have to be the happiest ending, but it’s got to be pretty happy. This one’s kind of a given, though.

And what else? Um… well, that’s about it, actually.

Some people say that you can’t have the main lovers partake in sexual relationships with anyone else, but I’m not entirely sure if I agree there. Why? Because sometimes it adds something necessary to the plot and it makes the story a lot more real. If the heroine(h) and the hero(H) are having some rocky times, adding a little sexual tension with some other characters can enhance that a lot.

It also hurts. What do I mean by that? It makes the fantasy a little more and less at the same time. We want to see the h and the H get together, but… now the h is sleeping with another man. Is this a permanent thing? Is the story over? We’re supposed to have a happy ending, right? We need that, and I just told you we’re going to get it, but…

Sometimes a story is happier when there’s some trouble involved. Sometimes it takes making mistakes to realize what your true feelings are. It’s difficult, and sometimes it hurts to see people make mistakes like that, especially in romance books where we desperately want the h and the H to get together and be happy. If they don’t make mistakes, then the happiness isn’t as great, though. That’s what I think.

That’s not to say that the h or the H need to make the same mistakes all the time, because that’d get boring, too, but the whole point of mistakes like this is to make the reward at the end so much better. Kind of like some mental BDSM sort of thing, maybe? A little bit of pain can increase sensitivity and sensation and make the pleasure so much better.

And, honestly? I think that’s what romance means to me in a lot of ways. It’s about experimenting, maybe stumbling, and then finding that one person who accepts you and your mistakes and loves you anyways. They’re there for you, and while it might have involved some hurt in order to get to where you are in the end, it’s worth it because it made the happiness a lot better.

Romance is about perfection, but it’s not about being perfect. It’s about the characters realizing their flaws and then realizing that they like each other, flaws and all, and they’ll help each other move past that to become a better person. Together. Separate, life can be really difficult, but when you’re together with someone, sometimes you can grasp at a little bit of perfection.

What do you think? Do you agree, or do you think there’s something else to it? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

If you’d like to check out some of my romance-themed books, here are some of my suggestions. I adore plot, but as a warning my sex scenes are explicit, some more so than others.

Princess Miri: An Erotic Coming of Age Monster Romance Novel (Medieval Fantasy Erotic Romance, involves taboo themes)

The Billionaire’s Ultimatum: His Absolute Need (Contemporary Erotic Romance, with BDSM and forbidden love themes)

His Absolute Obsession: The Billionaire’s Paradigm (Contemporary Erotic Romance, the first in a completed series of novellas/novels, with BDSM and obsession themes, the standalone sequel to The Billionaire’s Ultimatum)

Posted on July 17, 2013, in Other and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 41 Comments.

  1. fencingromein

    Thanks for the suggestions I’ll have to look into them

    fencingromein at hotmail dot com


  2. I love series because the writer can insert twists and plots. Characters can do the unexpected. Does the main character fall in love with the hero (heroine) because it’s expected or is it due to circumstances? Do they stay in love, the real kind where they grow old and gray or does another person push their way in?

    The happily ever after (HEV) can be both fantasy and reality. Sure, I want to see the HEV in a stand-alone book but in a series I’m okay with movements and alternate attachments. That’s real life. At the same time, two characters keeping together after a crisis is believable.

    I love romance books. They are an escape for me.


  3. That’s a really interesting theory…it does sound like what most of us strive for!



    • Your post hits close to home for me. I have one ebook out with in which the primary male character, Sir Braeden du Faucione, is bisexual. The female lead, Gaelynn Blackwood, doesn’t find out until the second book, although there are clues throughout as to Braeden’s secret ‘desires’. He has fallen in love with his squire after being back home and she has come to the conclusion that she was in lust, not love, with Braeden.

      I planned this series originally as a trilogy but now have designs on expansion for other characters. With a world of my own, I’m only limited by my own imagination.


  4. I prefer my romance stories without the love [insert geometrical shape]. The trouble that the relationship faces can’t be too over the top or I tune out.
    bituin76 at hotmail dot com


  5. I definitely think they need to have some troubles that bring them closer together in the end. Not cheesy secrets but actual problems to overcome. I think you’re pretty much spot on with everything there. Thank you! heather1974 at gmail dot com


  6. I think sometimes love HAS to hurt in order to bring a couple together. I love reading the struggle that brought them where they are. πŸ™‚


  7. Thanks for the giveaway! carlywood@comcast.net


  8. I do agree with your point about perfection πŸ™‚ It’s a very valid point.
    Thanks for the giveaway!


  9. I can agree with you .. nothing is ever perfect, but you can create something close to it with the one you love πŸ™‚


  10. Cassandra Hicks

    I agree with you and I love the way you expressed it πŸ™‚
    Thanks for the awesome giveaway!
    dixiedukegurl2 AT yahoo DOT com


  11. I think you have hit the nail on the head. I read romance/erotica/erotic romance as an escape. That heightened reality with a mostly guaranteed HEA makes the reader want to know how they end up together. If there is no tension the story falls flat. Thank you



  12. I definitely agree that things are better with a partner πŸ™‚ I can’t imagine life without my husband! Thanks a bunch for the hop/giveaway! Kyla Patton- kamclauc AT gmail DOT com


  13. I agree.
    Thanks for the chance to win!
    natasha_donohoo_8 at hotmail dot com


  14. I like when couple have struggles to overcome, but not when it involves sleeping with other people. That’s just a turn off for me. Thanks for the giveaway!

    pinkbonanza{ AT }gmail{ DOT }com


  15. Cerys ~ I love your blog! You always crack me up πŸ™‚

    Thanks for sharing πŸ˜‰



  16. Thanks for sharing, In romance books I love to read about the battle a couple fights to end up together at last.


  17. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on romance. I agree “romance about perfection and not about being perfect.” Thanks for sharing the awesome giveaways. evamillien at gmail dot com


  18. jennifer mathis

    completely agree with the romance is not perfect


  19. Right on sister! I totally agree!
    So many great books being added to my TRB list today!!
    Thanks for being in the hop!


  20. Struggles make it more real to me as a reader. Thanks for the chance at this great giveaway and for participating in this hop!!



  21. In my erotica, I think mΓ©nage themes are incredibly sexy, but in my everyday romances, no, no, no. They can have any other vice (well, no dog fighting or animal abuse) but cheating is a deal breaker for me.

    blueshedevil32 at gmail dot com


  22. strawberryrosered

    I loved reading your blog. Thank you for the chance to get to know you.



  23. yeah I grow weary of the always expected happy ending, reality isn’t like that much – regnod(at)yahoo(d0t)com


  24. Somewhat agree

    bn100candg at hotmail dot com


  25. I really enjoy your ideas on romance and agree with a great majority of them! Although it’s sometimes nice when the participants only have relations with one partner, it really depends so much, as with all the decisions the author makes, on the story being told. Sometimes more partners makes for a better story in the end. Just like with so many of the other things ( making mistakes, happy endings, etc.) If the story is going to be continued in a series or other volumes, perhaps you won’t get a happy ending right away. Sometimes the happy ending isn’t what you are expecting but it’s still a form of happy ending. It just really depends on the story the author is telling. I think that is what I like, the unpredictability.

    For me, I sort of like the fairytale happy ending and the prince and princess type story, but I also like the original fairytale type story and those were far from happy so I think I don’t know what I like and therefore don’t know for sure where I like my romance to go. Romance can go anywhere and mean so many different things, that broken down in the simplest form in my own mind it would be lover meets lover (even if they don’t know it right away), troubles ensue somewhere, and in the end in some way shape or form they come together and hopefully wind up together or wind up with others who yet find love, really real love along the way and have that one true moment for however long it can last to hold onto forever.

    My goodness. I think I would do so much better on these hops and getting through more of them if I could just figure out how to leave short responses… but I just can’t do it! I seem to have to answer each one far too fully, and I’m a slow typer!! Oh, and that blue monster guy is, indeed, adorable!

    Thanks for the chance to enter the giveaway and I hope everyone has a happy summer!

    Shelly H


  26. I agree with you! Romance isn’t about perfection.

    justjanhvi at gmail dot com


  27. Happy endings are one of the main reasons why I read romances. In real life, it’s not always like that, so I need romances to give me those happy endings.

    Thank you for the chance!

    spamscape [at] gmail [dot] com


  28. I would have to agree.I enjoy reading a book where characters are as real as can to be, regardless of whether they are paranormal or fantasy or contemporary. If everyone were perfect then it wouldn’t be worth reading.


  29. I like my romance to have some conflict. It makes the story more plausible as well as makes the HEA sweeter.

    bournmelissa at hotmail dot com


  30. I read straight romance just for the HEA…but depending on what kind of romance you’re reading, the HEA could be something totally different…..an erotic romance HEA might be the m-f-m menage with the heroine getting her (2) men.

    Thanks for the amazing giveaway!
    elizabeth @ bookattict . com


  31. thanks for the awesome giveaway!


  32. I agree 100%! That’s why I enjoy series so much because sometimes you can’t get it all in one book. While yes I get angry when it doesn’t go the way I want lol it keeps me entertained and reels me in even further. But, I honestly believe sometimes it takes leaving or experiencing things on your own to realize what you had and whether you truly want it or not. Thank you so much for being a part of this hop and for giving me the opportunity to win! usmcwifey1(at)live(dot)com


  33. Thanks for the giveaway.
    magic5905 at embarqmail dot com


  34. You described it perfectly! I actually have nothing at all to add. Great post!


  35. I agree with the happy endings, that’s why I read romance to begin with. I can be about 99% sure that things are going to work out in the end and I won’t be left feeling depressed lol. Thank you!



  36. shadowluvs2read

    Hi! I love happy endings! Have to have them. Connecting with characters, watching there lives unfold, being with them through all the good and bad and watching them get there HEA. Thank you for the fun hop and giveaway! πŸ™‚


  37. I think there needs to be some struggles or it’s not realistic. In the end I definitely want a happy ending, though!

    snhoveln (at) gmail (dot) com


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